When I work with clients, no matter what the service type, I always bring up the idea of affirmations, and the related concept of goal setting. I’m sometimes met with nods of agreement and familiarity. Conversely, A significant piece of my client group is very resistant to the idea, finding it to be hopelessly naïve or, worse, foolish. I have always been puzzled by this latter response, because I believe it represents despair. I now believe that this is just another skirmish in the age-old battle between free will and fatalism. Some people are ambivalent about this schism (or never thought about it!), but where you fall on this scale really determines whether you will embrace the idea of affirmations and goal setting, or not.
Free Will
The basic tenets of this set of ideas are that people have the power to choose between alternatives, can exercise rational control, and work to shape their destinies. They understand that probability and unpredictable courses of action are part of the measurable and observable world. The simpler way of saying this is that what you do (or choose not to do) makes a difference in the course of your life, and these choices are under your control. The underlying belief is that free will is something that causes other events, but is not caused by a previous event.
Fatalism
The basic tenets of this set of ideas are that events and outcomes are fixed in advance, and humans are powerless to change the end result. Actions you take or don’t take will not change the determined end result. Factors beyond individual control, such as divine intervention, genetic factors, and natural law are what determine outcomes. Free will becomes logically impossible by this set of rules. There is a moderate distinction between Fatalism and Determinism, but let’s leave that to the philosophy professors!
So where do you fall? If you believe that doing affirmations or setting goals is just re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, then this would be a waste of time and an affront to common sense at best, and a demoralizing act of futility at worst. If you believe that your actions, your thoughts and habits have at least some bearing on the course of your life, then these activities are a way to guide yourself to a preferred outcome. Here are some simple, immediately useful ideas:
Guidance system
Think of affirmation as installing a navigation system in your brain. The vast majority of stimuli and information packages we receive are filtered out. This is crucial to our survival and sanity in some ways, but has a down side. The negative aspect of this is that we will frequently filter, ignore or deny genuine opportunities that are present in daily life that pertain to our desired outcomes. Opportunities in life do not typically come marching into your living room like Professor Harold hill and his marching band. They start as little things, sublle things, things that are easy to miss or ignore. Affirmations, when artfully crafted, help you notice and take action on what’s already there.
Reminder system
Part of the modern world is the fact that we are consistently bombarded with images and messaging deftly designed to get us to do something, buy something, etc. Most Westernized people see more marketing messages in just a few days than their grandparents did in an entire lifetime. How are we supposed to even remember what we are shooting for in this cacophony? Affirmations can serve as simple reminders of targets and desired outcomes.
Tracking system
Affirmations and goals, when written down and used as a reference, can help you see where you stared and how far you’ve come. Human nature is to forget or to filter earlier experiences and to lose details in order to make events into a narrative. Without any sort of written record, it can be easy to lose your way, become disenchanted or disengaged.
Methods for Affirmations
The basic idea is you are making a statement of direction, not reporting on present day facts. Colloquially, this is “telling the truth in advance”. The 3 P’s here are personal, present tense and positive. The easiest way to get this accomplished is by using the “I am…” format. This may mean saying something that is not presently true, such as “I am at my top level of fitness and ideal weight.” Don’t worry; this is not denial when used properly. It’s a statement of where you are going. A few other rules for making this effective:
- Affirmations must be about you, not about someone else. It won’t work to say, “My husband is not smoking anymore.”
- Affirmations must use the present tense, because the future tense can be put off indefinitely and can not be construed as a legitimate statement of direction. Future tense declarations beg the question of “when”/
- Directional statement must specify what you are moving towards, not away from. It’s much better to affirm, “I only eat healthy foods”, than “I am not eating junk foods”.
- They must be short and to the point. Long and windy affirmations tend to become stale and lose meaning quickly.
If you have never worked with these, I invite you to dip your toe in (assuming you’re not a fatalist at heart!).