Effective communication is a vast topic, with many aspects. Effective communication can defuse tense situations, improve relationships and foster greater mutual understanding and regard. My next several posts will address these, with particular attention to verbal communication and personality styles.
Personality Styles
One thing to remember in this discussion is that any style descriptor generally represents the default status of that person, but we can respond differently given different circumstances or necessities. It’s not a fixed quantity or characteristic, such as eye color. The details following are generalizations and tendencies.
Carl Jung, one of the earliest psychiatrists, and a student of Sigmund Freud posited the first complex and comprehensive description of human personality styles. While the fact that people are different in the way they communicate, behave and respond is obvious, he was the first to apply separate descriptors. He used 4 characteristic types, which yielded 16 separate styles. Some of his language and concepts do not fit as well in the modern era, and can be cumbersome to apply.
There is a simplified version available, which compares 2 variables, giving 4 primary types. These types are:
- Analytical
- Driver
- Expressive
- Amiable
Driver
Driver types are more assertive, less responsive people. They typically control situations, tell others what to do, use facts and take risks. They are generally planners and future oriented. Their positive aspects are that they can be decisive, efficient, practical, and can be leaders. The negative aspects are that they can be pushy, harsh, intolerant, dominating or severe. This type is associated with masculine energy people (not necessarily masculine gender). They value efficiency and conclusions. They are commonly in leadership or management roles in business.
Expressive
Expressive types are more assertive, more responsive people. They typically tell others what to do, think about and have opinions on. They tend to be risk takers and future oriented people, but they tend to rely on emotions and opinions more than facts. Their positive aspects are that they cam be stimulating, fun, enthusiastic and friendly. The negative aspects are that they can be manipulative, excitable, unstable and unreliable. This type is associated with feminine energy people (not necessarily feminine gender). They value variety, future benefits, dreams and intuition. They are commonly creative or artistic types.
Amiable
Amiable types are less assertive, more responsive people. They ask others rather than tell others, they rely more on emotions and opinions than facts. They tend to be past oriented, and typically do not value planning. This type is associated with feminine energy people (not necessarily feminine gender). Their positive aspects are that they are supportive, dependable, agreeable, and easy to get along with. Their negative aspects are that they can be weak-willed, dependent, socially awkward and overly conforming to others. They value relationships, harmony and friendships. They are commonly in support roles in families and in business.
Analytical
Analytical types are less assertive, less responsive people. They typically ask rather than tell, and use facts rather than emotions. They tend to avoid risks and value planning. They are future oriented people. Their positive aspects are that they can be serious, pragmatic, problem solvers and industrious. Their negative aspects are that they can be critical, picky, and indecisive. This type is associated with masculine energy people (not necessarily masculine gender). They value accuracy, precision and economy. They are commonly engineers, designers and writers.
How do I use this?
The first thing to do is to identify yourself in this continuum. Remember that it’s the default setting you are looking for. If you find this challenging, it may help to identify the types of other people you most closely identify with and can relate to most easily. This is most likely your type.
This is an example where opposites do not attract. You will find it hardest to communicate with and relate to your opposite: analytical/expressive and driver/amiable.
Work with the key phrases that resonate best with the personality type.
- Driver: “which choice seems best to you?” “How do you want to handle this?”
- Expressive “It will feel great when…” “It will be enjoyable to…”
- Amiable: “I really appreciate you.” “It’s so nice to see/talk to you.”
- Analytical: “A high percentage of…” “This typically takes/costs [time/money]”
This is an art form that takes some practice. You can raise your communications bar by understanding the other person’s style and what’s important to them before you phrase your first words.